


Doctor Viper & The Fantastic Feline

by miltonicsimile



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Humor, M/M, Minion Chan, One Shot, Superhero Josh, Supervillain Jeonghan, jh kills someone ig but its like mentioned/implied lmao, josh is catboy??, lol, this is me showing furry solidarity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:07:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24034009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miltonicsimile/pseuds/miltonicsimile
Summary: Jeonghan (aka Doctor Viper, incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy), isn't quite sure what to do when his arch-nemesis shows up at his door one night crying.
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 25
Kudos: 255





	Doctor Viper & The Fantastic Feline

**Author's Note:**

> think of jeonghan as a villain like megamind (2010) which is where his title is from lmao
> 
> this is why i ran the "is josh a furry" poll on twt lol
> 
> ALSO so Canadian radio laws make it so a certain amount of music has to be Canadian-made right so they play a lot of the band metric and i was driving (not well) and the song lost kitten (which is about a hooker lol) came on and my monkey brain went: Joshua hong is so kitty  
> and somehow we are now here
> 
> tell me why my brain saw [this](https://twitter.com/molly7anne/status/1255939242976587777) and went: lmao jihan

“Sir, fucking Hong Jisoo is at the door.”

From his position reclined in his pimped-out lounge chair that was currently massaging his back, heating his ass, and had a mechanical arm making him a cocktail, Jeonghan lifted an eyebrow. Or he tried to, beneath his face mask infused with gold. (The mask’s formula was one he had made himself after a trip to Indonesia and commandeered a gold mine.)

“Don’t lie to me. I am in my happy place.”

“I’m not lying!” Chan shot back, annoyed. “I don’t know how he got through the security, but he’s literally at the door. Check the cameras yourself.”

“Jisoo, you say? Not our darling _The Fantastic Feline_?” Jeonghan asked, pressing a few buttons on his chair until the television screen switched to the security cameras around the premises of his lair.

Chan shook his head; arms crossed his chest as he leaned against the back of the couch. “No, sir. I promise you; he looks pathetic. Not ready for a fight.”

With the press of another button the exterior cameras lit up the screen in a grid formation, and surely, yes Hong Jisoo was standing in front of their door. 

“Chan!” Jeonghan gasped, sitting up. The young man at their door was wearing jeans and a grey hoodie turned nearly black in the rain. He was not in his so-called hero suit. “You didn’t tell me it was raining out! Look at our poor little kitty is soaking wet! If he gets sick who will I have dramatic fights on top of city hall with?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know the protocol for your arch-nemesis showing up casually at the door.”

Peeling the face mask from his face and flinging it at Chan, Jeonghan began to rush around the room. “I have nothing to wear!” He looked down at his pyjama pants and his fluffy bathrobe. He didn’t have time to change into one of his sexy synthetic snakeskin suits (his own design of course) with a high-collared bullet-proof cape for the drama of it! “What if this is a trick! Do you think he is here to steal secrets? I don’t even have an evil plan on the go right now for taking over the city!”

“I don’t know, sir.” Chan rolled his eyes, flopping onto the couch. “But you should go answer the door.”

“You’re a terrible minion!”

Remote to change the channels in one hand and the other raised with the middle finger, Chan ignored the insult. “Go answer the door, sir.”

“I have to do everything around here!” Jeonghan huffed, running a hand through his hair and taking off at a trot for the elevator. He quickly pressed in the commands for the ground level and wondered how long Jisoo had been standing there in the rain. Was this part of a scheme to bring him down? Jeonghan was not ready for an epic fight tonight, even if the weather was adding the perfect backdrop of drama. It was almost a shame, really.

Stepping out of the elevator (the fastest one in this goddamn city because he designed it himself and slow elevators were a personal pet peeve) Jeonghan began to rummage through his things scattered about the lair as he walked towards the door.

He needed to be ready! The Fantastic Feline was a worthy opponent, smart and not above playing dirty, despite being on the side of “good”. Not to mention terribly cute, something Jeonghan attributed to the slash of feline traits from the accident in the university genetics labs Jisoo worked at that had led to his condition (and eventual attempt at herodom).

Ha! Imagine trying to call yourself a super and having a day job! Jeonghan, of course, dedicated himself to the works of evil _full time_.

He grabbed a cape from the back of a chair and put it on. Then he spotted his shrink-ray from a side table and tucked it into the band of his pyjama pants. He didn’t have time to find a good flashy weapon. This would have to be good enough.

Finally, at the door, Jeonghan looked at the display screen built into the wall next to it. It was linked to his phone. He could have the security cameras fire lasers with the tap of a finger. If he wanted. Which he didn’t. He wanted to see Hong Jisoo. Talk to him, monologue at him, make witty banter. The usual. 

A quick press of a button, the door unlocked. As dramatically as possible, Jeonghan posed as he keyed in the code for the door to open. As slowly as possible. And for there to be a smoke effect. He needed Jisoo to see him and gasp at the masterful evil doctor before him, ignoring the pyjamas.

Jeonghan skewed his face into a cool smoulder as the door began to open. Mysterious. Sexy. Evil. _Perfect_.

“What brings you to my humble abode, the pinnacle of evil and sexiness this evening?” Jeonghan asked, running a hand through his hair in a way he knew was irresistible. (He had Chan hack multiple media platforms and run online polls throughout the city. His eyebrow raise-and-smirk combo was a close second).

Hong Jisoo, drenched from the rain, looked at him with his sad wide kitten eyes. They were red from crying. He was still crying. Jeonghan didn’t catch that on the cameras. He had grossly miscalculated the nature of this encounter.

“I’m sorry,” Jisoo said a small voice. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

“I uh...” Jeonghan took in the scene, this sad teary-eyed boy at his door in the pouring rain. He wasn’t here to fight. He wasn’t here as The Fantastic Feline. (There was no leather harness across his shoulders attached to a cape, no black pants, or cat face mask. The Fantastic Feline had a rather provocative for a hero outfit, in Jeonghan’s opinion.)

He was a broken young man with nowhere else to go.

“What happened?” Jeonghan demanded, anger suddenly flooding his veins. No one hurt Hong Jisoo. The Fantastic Feline was his enemy, his hero-property to fight with, but Hong Jisoo - he was _untouchable_. “Who did this to you?”

“My boyfriend ...he uh,” Jisoo struggled over the words, voice thick with emotion. “He broke up with me. And I couldn’t go home and let my family see me like this-”

“Oh my sweet darling,” Jeonghan grabbed Jisoo’s arm and pulled him inside out of the rain. “Let’s get you some dry clothes and some hot chocolate, okay?”

Kitten eyes wide, Jisoo nodded.

He kept an arm around the other man’s waist as they walked through his lair, but his free hand was in a tight fist. And he was still fuming as they rode the elevator back to the living quarters of the lair. How _dare_ someone hurt Jisoo!

In the short ride, the silence between them hit him. Normally when together they were talking, teasing, fighting. This was new.

Jeonghan cleared his throat. “I know I always demand to be properly recognized as _Doctor Viper, incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy_ , but tonight you may call me Jeonghan.”

“Jeonghan…” Jisoo tested out the unfamiliar name. “I suppose you can call me Joshua then. Jisoo is just what’s on paper, no one actually calls me that. And I’m sorry to have bothered you. I probably Interrupted your plans for the evening.” 

_Joshua_. Cute.

“Well, it may shock you but even evil takes nights off. I was just enjoying some me-time between weapon design and plotting.” Jeonghan said as they stepped into the living quarters of his lair. Chan was still on the couch. “But don’t worry about things now kitten, you’re safe here.”

“Thank you.”

Chan glanced over at them and raised a brow in question but otherwise didn’t move.

Jeonghan was unsure what to do now. This was uncharted territory. He would treat this as an experiment.

 _Hypothesis_ : Joshua’s ex-boyfriend is a dick that will be dead by the end of the night.

“Let me find you some dry clothes.” He said, pressing rapid commands into his phone. He pictured the clothes he wanted in his mind. A pair of sweatpants, socks, a plain t-shirt and a hoodie. Poor kitty got left out of the rain and would be cold.

“Shit,” Joshua breathed as three robomins (robot minions, Chan named them) flew out of Jeonghan’s room carrying the clothing. “That’s so cool! And they’re cute!”

Jeonghan’s lips curled up into a smile as the clothing was dropped into his hands. “Thank you. I was aiming for birds but if from a children’s cartoon. Their code needs upgrading quite regularly though. Chan is always finding new ways to exploit them.”

“Hey!” Chan scowled from the couch. “Why would I do more work than I need to when I work for an inventor?”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes and then turned back to Joshua. He was making a puddle of rainwater on the floor. He would need to send more robomins to clean that up. “These are for you.”

Then without warning, Joshua began to peel his soaking wet clothes from his body.

“Oh my,” Jeonghan’s eyes widened in surprise.

Not that he wasn’t used to seeing The Fantastic Feline mostly naked on a fairly regular basis thanks to his ridiculous hero outfit. Arch-nemesis privileges. But this was different. Joshua was all honey skin, toned and much stronger than Jeonghan. (Also more beefed up than pre-genetics lab incident Joshua according to his research. Which was mostly facebook creeping. Open-source information was underutilized in his opinion.) And he had a long black tail.

“I see you’re following pop queen Ke$ha’s advice and just taking it all off.” Jeonghan nodded, eyes wandering as every last piece of dripping wet clothing was removed. “Fine by me.”

“I think I caught a chill in the rain,” Joshua replied, pulling on the sweats with shaking hands. “I hadn’t realized how cold it was out.”

“Chan!” Jeonghan called. “Go make some hot cocoa for our guest!” He paused, glancing at Joshua’s tail. “Actually let’s make that a cup of steamed milk!”

“But sir! My show is just at the good part!”

“Chan!”

“Fine! But I’m not going to put my secret ingredient in it!”

Now fully dressed, Joshua glanced nervously at the younger boy who was pouting as he walked into the kitchen. “What is the secret ingredient?”

“ _Love_ ,” Jeonghan said with a shake of his head. “Chan! You _will_ add it! We don’t need your bad vibes!”

“Fine!”

Jeonghan frowned. “Excuse me?”

“Fine, sir!”

“Better,” Jeonghan said, satisfied. “Now, ‘Shua, you curl up on the couch and I’ll turn the heat up on the seat. I’ll have the robomins bring you a blanket. Do you want something to eat?”

In response, Joshua let out a yawn. “Oh, that sounds nice. But um, do you mind if I stay the night here? I’m afraid as soon as I get warm I’ll be out like a light.”

“Let’s not bring Sicko Mode into this, but of course you can stay the night,” Jeonghan said, reaching out for Joshua’s arm. He felt cold even through the hoodie. “But I’m afraid my lair isn’t set up for accommodating guests. You know the life as a criminal genius and master of all villainy really doesn’t allow much time for receiving guests here. This floor is the living quarters and besides this living room and the kitchen, there are only mine and Chan’s bedrooms.”

Crestfallen, Joshua’s shoulders dropped and he bit his lip. “Oh.”

“But Chan is just my minion, so no worries.”

From the kitchen, Chan called out, “fuck you, sir!”

“I couldn’t kick him out of his own bedroom,” Joshua said, making his way over to fill the spot Chan had vacated in front of the television. His _good_ was showing. “But I suppose the couch would be fine.”

Jeonghan also supposed it would be fine, but this was his arch-nemesis! His cute, cold, showed up soaking wet with a broken heart at this door mortal enemy! He could not let Joshua sleep on the couch. “You can sleep in my bed!”

This time it was Joshua’s eyes that widened. His adorable if not quite fully human eyes with vertical pupils that were barely visible through the brown. He really did have such kittenish aegyo-sal to match the feline curve of his lips.

“Where will you sleep?”

Jeonghan sat down on the couch, grabbing the blanket hovering in the air in the mechanical claw of the robomin. “If you haven’t caught onto it yet, villainy is quite profitable. I also dabble in the legal selling of invention patents. You would be surprised how much cross over there is between tools of evils and aerospace engineering. I swear I practically built CNSA’s latest rocket single-handedly.”

Joshua blinked at him.

“I'm rich and have a big bed, kitten.”

“Oh. Sharing might be for the best,” Joshua ventured, accepting the blanket and wrapping it around his shoulders. “I might need to steal your body heat.”

Jeonghan raised a brow salaciously. “Isn’t theft against The Fantastic Feline’s code? Though I’m sure the way you prowl and pounce around the city you’ve stolen plenty of hearts.”

“You think?” Joshua asked, teeth chattering.

Finally, Chan appeared with a steaming mug. “Prepared perfectly, sir.”

“Thank you, for the beverage sans sass.” He took the mug and brought it up to Joshua’s lips. “It shouldn’t be too hot, but still be careful. Take little sips.”

Cattish eyes flickering from Jeonghan’s to the mug, Joshua nodded and then leaned forward to try it. He let out a low moan. Almost a purr. “Oh, it’s really good.”

Jeonghan smiled. “Drink up, kitten. We need to get you warm.”

“Ugh,” Chan groaned, “I’m going to bed.”

“Thank you!” Joshua said after another sip as the younger man disappeared into his room.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Jeonghan ventured after another minute. He was still enraged that someone had the nerve to go and break Joshua’s heart. “You don’t have to. I could distract you instead if that’s better.”

Licking his lips, tears once again brimming his cattish eyes, Joshua sighed. “We had been dating for almost six months, my longest relationship ever. Which is kinda sad, but it’s hard to date when you’re a damn genetic freak and superhero.”

The timeline thing Jeonghan had been vaguely aware of. He spent a lot more time than he wanted to admit keeping tabs on his arch-nemesis. In a non-creepy way. It was in always ready for a fight way.

Jeonghan frowned at such negative talk. “You being a freak is what makes you special. If you weren’t a freak I wouldn’t have anyone to spend my time plotting out possible foils for.”

“Thanks,” Joshua chuckled, but it came out tainted by the pain. “Anyway, he basically said that he didn’t want to be with someone like me. Not only am I different, which I personally think he liked in a weird fetishy way, but he also said I was never available. I’m literally a superhero! I thought my leaving unexpectedly was a given.”

Tears were threatening to spill, and Jeonghan quickly hummed in sympathy, lifting the mug again. “You poor thing. You didn’t deserve any of that. What a horrible person.”

“You’re literally a villain.”

“Yes, exactly,” Jeonghan nodded. “So, remind me. Does he live in the apartment building by that really good gourmet donut shop?”

Joshua narrowed his eyes. “Yes. How do you know that?”

“Oh, well, they also have really good in-house strawberry Horchata that I can’t get enough of.”

“Not that. How do you know where he lives?”

Jeonghan pressed the mug into Joshua’s mouth again. Mostly to shut him up. “I know a lot of things, don’t worry about it, kitten.”

“Are you going to do something to him? Something bad?” Joshua asked.

“Would that be so terrible?”

Surprisingly, something dark flickered in Joshua’s eyes. “You would do that for me?”

“Of course,” Jeonghan replied, pushing a stray piece of hair out of Joshua’s beautifully unnatural eyes. “No one gets to hurt you. The Fantastic Feline is mine to regularly engage in scintillating witty banter while fighting with. But that’s business. What your ex did was unforgivable.”

“Then no,” Joshua said after a long moment, their eyes locked. “It wouldn’t be so bad.”

After that, it only took a few minutes for him to finish the steamed milk, his shivering stopping and a nice natural flush returning to his cheeks.

“Do you feel better?” Jeonghan asked, taking a cloth napkin from a robomin and wiping Joshua’s mouth.

Stretching his arms out, blanket falling, Joshua nodded. “Yes, thanks. I think I’m ready to curl up and go to sleep.”

Nodding, Jeonghan pressed a few quick commands out into his phone for the robomins. _Take the mug and wash it up. Fold the blanket. Kill Joshua’s ex. Send Chan a thank you email with a cute otter gif. Water the ficus tree in his study._

“My room is this way,” Jeonghan said, standing. He held out his hand.

With a shrug, Joshua took it.

“And can I ask you something?”

Trailing behind him, Joshua chuckled. “I suppose. What is it?”

“Do you sleep like everyone else?” Jeonghan asked, guiding them into his bedroom. “Or do you take cat naps? How much genetic splicing happened during your accident? Where are the lines drawn? I’ve been desperate to get a solid reading of your DNA but Chan keeps telling me it would be creepy to get the robomins to steal some of your hair.”

With another laugh, Joshua sat at the edge of the bed. “Chan was right. Freak.” He pulled back the blankets, still clearly cold despite the steamed milk. “I sleep normally if I’ve had a busy day. I think I would function best on cat naps though if I’m being honest. But they’re not very practical.”

“Hmmm.” His long-ago proposed hypothesis had been right. His one about Joshua’s ex had also been right. He was on a roll. “Would you be open to me doing research and testing? It could be beneficial for you.”

“How so?”

Jeonghan climbed into bed, pleased by how nice Joshua looked there. Cute. Cozy. “I mean, you don’t even really fully know the extent of cat inside you. You have extraordinary balance, speed, muscle, hearing, and sight a night, right? Not to mention a tail. Who knows what else? You might have a changed metabolism or disrupted reproductive functions.”

Joshua’s brows furrowed together, his head resting on a pillow. “I also have a pretty killer sense of smell. But no rough tongue. Also, I think I’m fine sexually, thanks for your concern.

“We love a confident king.” Jeonghan laughed, grabbing Joshua’s arm and pulling him closer. He was still so cold to the touch. He was going to have to fix that. “But I think if you could understand your own body a bit better you would be better off, even for everyday life. Come on, let me do the tests!”

“Do you want to help me or are you being horny for science?”

Jeonghan scoffed, offended. It was a bit of both. “I want to help!” 

“You know,” Joshua says, “for a villain, you seem to have a lot of good in you.”

“For an allegedly morally straight hero, you didn’t seem upset about me having your ex taken out of the picture permanently.” Jeonghan countered with a smirk, fingers wandering across Joshua’s leg. “Evil is called inhuman, beastly, demonic and monstrous. But isn’t being purely good just as unnatural?”

“I don’t think you could call either of us ordinary.”

An amused laugh escaped Jeonghan without his consent and he softly slapped Joshua’s ass. He realized for the first time that though he and The Fantastic Feline may be mortal enemies, but Joshua might be the only person in this damn city who could possibly understand what it’s like to be so different.

Joshua’s eyes were drooping closed, his breathing slowing. The heartbreak, the rain, and the cold were catching up with him. He was safe here. He didn’t need to be anyone but himself for Jeonghan. 

He wondered if Joshua could truly do this anywhere else, besides the bed of his enemy. Let go of worries about being judged for being so different. Their fighting, that was just business. This is completely different.

“Go to sleep, kitten,” Jeonghan said in a soft voice, stroking Joshua’s hair. “I’ll take care of you.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/wizardwonu)


End file.
